…at PersistentIllusion!

In light of the attack at NIU, or at Virginia Tech, or even back to Columbine, one thing becomes startlingly clear. 

These incidents are mirrors of the best and worst of humanity. 

It cannot be definitively known what leads someone to load up on semi-automatics and blast their classmates and teachers, though news organizations spend hours on conjecture as to why. 

The majority of information about the NIU shooting focuses on Steven Kazmierczak’s actions and motivations and there is little information on any acts of heroism.

However, in the wake of this tragedy, we can look at the Virginia Tech shootings to see how people rise in the face of terror.  There are moments when the best of what mankind has to offer is demonstrated. 

Professor Liviu Librescu, an Israeli-American scientist who survived the Holocaust, held the door of his classroom, Room 204, shut while Cho attempted to enter it.  

Librescu was able to prevent the shooter from entering the classroom until most of his students escaped through the windows, but he died after being shot multiple times through the door.  One student in his classroom died.

Jocelyne Couture-Nowak tried to save the students in her French classroom, Room 211, after looking Cho in the eye in the hallway.  Colin Goddard, one of seven survivors in the French class, told his family that Couture-Nowak ordered her students to the back of the class for their safety and made a fatal attempt to barricade the door. 

Student Henry Lee was also killed while trying to help Professor Couture-Nowak barricade the door.

Hearing the commotion on the floor below, Professor Kevin Granata brought 20 students from a nearby classroom into an office, where the door could be locked, on the third floor of Norris Hall. 

He then went downstairs to investigate and was shot by Cho. Granata died from his injuries.  None of the students locked in Granata’s office were injured.

In the face of the negative media onslaught, it is easy to think that people and society are in a constant decline. 

But for every story on price gouging and violence during a hurricane’s aftermath, there are 100 of how neighbors came together and helped each other.  For every story of police misconduct, there are many more of heroism and bravey in the line of fire.  For every story of a teacher abusing their students, there are the legions of unthanked and unappreciated teachers who have made the difference.

To all the people who faced horror and became heroes, we honor you.

Russell Crowe hasn’t been on my list of favorite celebrities since his days as Maximus Decimus Meridius , however, apparently he isn’t a complete idiot.

Behold.

He finally realized that what he does echoes throughout eternity.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     * 

If you liked this article check out This is What Fatherhood Should Look Like.

Even though Valentine’s Day is only once a year, it’s important to maintain the V-Day vibe for the rest of your year together.

And I’m not talking about ‘being romantic’ or considerate for the other 364 days; I’m talking about how to fight.  Or rather,

How Not to Fight

Learning not to fight is one of the most important things you can do for your marriage or relationship.  Not taking your partner for granted is the other.

Get Out of Jail Free

Not just a card in Monopoly, the get-out-of-jail-free concept is crucial for the success of your relationship. 

Guys’ biggest pet peeve is how their ladies NEVER FORGET.  Even though you have allegedly been ‘forgiven’, you don’t feel like it because every time you do something boneheaded the list o’ grievances just gets longer.  By the time you are 50, you have to stand there for an hour on the recitations alone.

Get Two Birds With One Stone

Hugs and the Hug Bank.  Basically, it’s your romantic get-out-of-jail-free card.  Every time your partner does something awesome, you give them a ‘hug in the hug bank’. 

• Your He-Man brings home ice cream?  Hug in the Hug Bank!
• Your Goddess bites her tongue?  2 Hugs in the Hug Bank!

The next time you are in trouble for something (being late, forgetting to take out the trash, losing your temper) and are in the middle of an argument, use a Hug from the Hug Bank! 

Both people have to immediately stop the conversation and the offended party can’t bring it up.  The offended spouse may raise you three hugs in the hug bank or something, but that’s their prerogative. 

Workability

This works if both people are into the system.

Now, it’s up to you whether to keep track or not.  (We don’t, but that’s because I can’t remember and I would probably cheat anyway.)

Alternate Names

• A Kiss in the Kiss Bank?
• Chocolate in the Chocolate Bank?
• Do-Overs in the Do-Over Bank?
• Golf Day in the Golf Day Bank?
• A YO! in the YO! Bank?

What would you call it?

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     * 

If you liked this article check out I Don’t Love You Anymore; I Want a Divorce.

On this, this day of love, PersistentIllusion wishes you a very Happy Valentine’s Day!

It is so strange to see Brangelina (usually so moody! so pensive!) like this…

My goodness, they seem to be enjoying themselves!  Will wonders never cease…

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     * 

If you liked this article check out This is What Fatherhood Should Look Like.

If you haven’t purchased your Journey necklace or made reservations at Chez FouFou, or you are chock-full of granny panties and have nothing alluring to adorn yourself with - never fear! 

It’s PersistentIllusion to the rescue.

1.  E-Card.  Go to Yahoo Greetings stat!  Not all of the cards are free, but it does leave you something to work with and since you, the slacker, have slacked, you have no grounds for excessive complaints.

Or, email them this.

2.  Old Skool Mixes.  I know you have a bajillion mp3s on your hard drive.  There must be something in there that we can work with.  All you need are 6-10 songs that ‘remind you’ of your loved one.  They don’t even have to be romantic!

Beastie Boys “Intergalactic Planetary”, Peter Gabriel “In Your Eyes” (then hold the stereo or remote over your head), your wedding song, anything by Nickelback, Dead or Alive “You Spin Me Around (Like A record)”, Devo “Whip It”   (only if they have a sense of humor!), Thomas Dolby “She Blinded Me With Science”, and Madness “Our House”.

And if you think I am picking a lot of 80s songs, you better believe it!  You want nostalgic music that will put your Beloved in touch with their happy place.

3.  Alternative Movies.  See if you can possibly rent “Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind” or “What Dreams May Come”.  Go, now, quickly to your local blockbuster.   They are probably setting aside ‘romantic’ movies as we speak! 

4.  Carpet Picnic.  Give up on Le Fancy Food. 

You wouldn’t want to make a reservation anyway, restaurants will be C-R-A-Z-Y.  Order chinese or pizza, and if you have some votives (mini-candles), light them!  Candlelight makes everything romantic. 

And don’t worry.  You may not have a fire, but the glow of the television will suffice.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     * 

If you liked this article check out Dawn of the Dean Presents: Massacre Your Valentine’s Day.

11.  The leader is always right.  Of course you know that can’t always be true but it didn’t stop me from telling my fiancee “It’s only fair to warn you.  I’m always right.” 

No matter who is involved in your life, it is still your life. 

The buck always stops with you.  Unless you are married, you are the only person who is ‘in charge’ of your life, because it is your life. 

12.  Rewards and punishment.  Don’t go out and buy a jet-ski if you haven’t upheld your commitments to yourself.  I am not suggesting that you flog yourself, however, you should put yourself on restriction if you mess up.

If you mess up and your life stays the same, then what (besides the niggling voice in the back of your head) will help you correct the behavior?

13.  Elite group.  Get membership in an elite group.  If you run marathons, then go to NYC one year and run the New York City Marathon.  Join Mensa.  Get a Masters degree. 

Do whatever it takes to belong to an elite group and stay there. 

Confidence and pride in yourself and your accomplishments can lead to happiness.  As long as you don’t have a conceited view of your own importance, taking pride in yourself will not lead to egotistical behavior.

14.  Dedication to ideal.  Whatever your ideal is, keep it firmly in front of your face daily. 

15.  Constant reminder of why.  Your ‘why’ has to be big enough to spark change.  Being healthy may not be a big enough ‘why’ to lose weight but avoiding death is.  Your why has a big job to do; it has to inspire you to interrupt your routine and break your habits.

In Isaac Asimov’s Foundation series, psychohistory is developed to predict and direct the actions of people in the future.  In psychohistory, to change the inertia of a quintillion people, you either need a lot of people or a small number of people with a lot of time.

The same is true for our lives, lives in which we are ultimately comfortable, if not happy.  Your life, your habits, your family, and your friends are factors which combined create a routine that is extremely hard to change.

 Your ‘why’ has to overcome the inertia of your life.

16.  Striving for perfection.  Sometimes we feel that ‘good enough’ is good enough. .

…

.

“Shoot for the moon.  Even if you miss, you land among the stars.”  

. 

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     * 

If you liked this article check out More Brainwashing You Way to Happiness.

Learned about these from IronicSans.

(*Please note that the free Valentine give away from The Daily Dish is now closed.)

     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     * 

If you liked this article check out Dawn of the Dead Presents: Massacre Your Valentine’s Day and Hypocrites Boycott Valentine’s Day.

True story!  Aura Mae at GetSomeHairapy!  related this yesterday…

“My husband was in the Phoenix airport and saw a man that looked alarmingly like my brother who lives in Houston.  He wasn’t sure it was him and didn’t want to look foolish walking up to a stranger if it wasn’t him.

Here is the back and forth text message dialog of me trying to see if it was, indeed, my brother in the airport:

Me: Hey!  Any chance you are in the Phoenix airport?  Al says he sees a guy who looks just like you.

Brother:  Nope.  I’m not there.  But what a lucky guy!

Me: Is it a burden to be so handsome AND so humble?

Brother: It is, but I can handle it.”